Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
