I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
