R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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