His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
