There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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