At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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