Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
