I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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