I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
