East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
