I'm jealous of your bromance
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
