thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize