K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
