Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
