She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i think im in europe. pls send help
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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