In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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