so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
