he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
