My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
