this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
