I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
