I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
