now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
