Nicole vs. Life
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
