i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
