it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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