Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
