Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
