Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
