Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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