I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
