tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
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