weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
