brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We need to rekindle our bromance
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
