Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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