why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
