ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
