I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
