I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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