Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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