Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
