Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
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