There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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