I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize