were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize