We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
zippers are such a cool invention
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
