I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Randomize
