How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
