I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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