apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i out mim tonsoeep
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