The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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