yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
