i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
