Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
