You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize