Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
