I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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