oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
