May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
What drink are we having for lunch?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
